so many thoughts that need spilling. i’ve been processing a lot & learning more things. recently i’ve realized, it’s usually not as good as it seems. from afar is different than underneath. up close is different than between the leaves. & what frightens me most, is the things i’m most ‘sure of’ never stand the test of time.
so i find myself back in familiar spaces. distanced and isolated. disappointed and frustrated. this was never my idea of home. but i’ve learned not to knock on doors that would rather be left alone. instead i’ll grieve in silence. another cut, another scab, another scar, another season.
another reason to give less next time.